


I Know I'm A Wolf

by TheShippingGhost



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Blood, I know I'm a wolf, M/M, Oneshot, Sad times, Songfic, doesn't end as badly as one would think, i guess?, um Im a terrible person, young Heretics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-31
Updated: 2014-10-31
Packaged: 2018-02-23 07:38:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2539718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheShippingGhost/pseuds/TheShippingGhost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I know I'm a wolf, <br/>And I've been raised to kill,<br/>But the thought of fresh meat,<br/>It is making me ill."</p><p>Levi knew he had anger problems, and when he found Eren, beaten, bloody, and bruised, he immediately blamed himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Know I'm A Wolf

**Author's Note:**

> The song - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OiSFPN37hhE

_“Dear Rabbit,”_

 

When Levi found him, Eren was curled up on the ground, shaking as if he were freezing. There was drying blood smeared on the white tiles of the floor below him, and bruises were beginning to line his face and bare arms in splotched fashion, almost as if painted there. They were soft shades of dark blue at the moment, but would get darker over the next hour or so.

They were in the bathroom of a half demolished building. One that should have toppled years ago, but didn’t. How did they even get there?

The man moved to comfort his love, but once the boy heard the loud clack of boots on the flooring, he jumped slightly, curling further into his own body, and his face disappeared behind knees and locks of brunette hair. He was well aware of what happened... Levi was not so sure. Everything seemed blurry...distant... unreal.. out of his control. It was terrifying. All he could see in his memory was red and flashes of deep anger and fear.

What had happened between him and Eren?

 

_“My legs are getting weak, chasing you.”_

 

He fell to his knees beside the kid, desperately looking for answers. His hand reached out to touch him, to give him a tender, warm feeling rather than one of pain. He stopped. His knuckles were red, blotched with blood. It was a horrifying thing to see.

Was this... Eren’s blood?

No, it couldn’t be. He would never hurt Eren, not the way he had before.

 

_“The snow fields wouldn’t seem so big,”_

 

He heard small muffled words. Gasps of “Don't hurt me please”s and whimpers of “I’m sorry” over and over again, like a broken record. It was pitiful. He wanted it to stop, but even though Eren was right before him, he felt as though there was a field of barbed wire in between them. Neither of them could reach out to one another without getting themselves mangled and torn.

What had Eren even done to deserve this? There had to be a reason. a good reason, that he would do this to the kid.

He loved him.

He would never- wouldn’t normally lay a hand on him. Not after that first time.

 

_“If you knew,”_

 

“I’m sorry,” Levi said in a choked voice. He couldn’t possibly be on the verge of tears. He didn’t cry. “I’m so sorry.” He wasn’t even sure if this was his doing, but he was well aware Eren was terrified and the blood was on his hands.

 

_“That this blood on my teeth, it is far beyond dry,”_

 

Eren didn’t look up, he didn’t stop, he just kept shaking, sobbing, hurting. He ignored Levi’s apology and probably for the better. The blood, wherever it had come from, was beginning to cake. It was drying up from how long it had been there. It wasn’t very much blood. Not enough to be concerning anyway.

Levi wanted to hug him. Tell him it’s okay, but the rift that stretched between them, stopped him in his tracks.

 

_“And I’ve captured you once,”_

 

They weren’t dating anymore. They’d been broken up for a week or so now with very little hope of recovery, but Levi knew that was his fault, he’d called for the breakup. He found himself scared of doing just this. He was terrified because he loved Eren.

He loved his smile.

His laugh.

His dorkiness.

His everything, but Levi...

 

_“But I wasn’t quite right,”_

 

He did something unspeakable. The worst part was it was over practically nothing. Only a broken cup, some harsh words, and a little bit of liquor. It was so small and he, well, he hit him. Eren still had the rough bruise that had bloomed on his cheekbone. It was nasty. A spectrum of dark navy to a softer blue and eventually red.

Levi was disgusted with himself. He couldn’t handle being the cause of that and everytime he saw it, it made him feel like a horrible human being.

Eren did not deserve that sort of treatment, so Levi left, ignoring Eren’s pleas for him to stay.

 

_“So I’m telling you,”_

 

His hand, still stopped midair, finally finished it’s journey and caressed Eren, gently and tenderly. The boy flinched at first but then leaned into the touch.

 

_“That you’ll be safe with me.”_

 

Levi pulled the shivering mass out of its ball and placed its head on his lap. He looked over Eren’s face, disgusted by what he saw. There was three light bruises from his eye to his jawline, along with a darker one just above his right eye, and his nose looked to be a little more smashed than it should be. There was dried blood on his upper lip, having poured from his nose, and smeared across the rest of his face.

Both eyes were puffy and red from crying, and Levi could see the fear the golden orbs let off. He brushed his hand along the cheek that wasn’t bruised, feeling like he was going to cry. “I’m so sorry.”

 

_“And rabbit,”_

 

Eren shivered at the touch but did not say a word. He looked pitifully pained from bumps and bruises and was obviously terrified of Levi, though he was reacting well to the comfort.

 

_“My claws are dull now, so don’t be afraid.”_

 

Levi began to pet his hair, playing with the bunches of brown and running his fingers through the strands. This made the boy calm down. The tears stopped eventually, as did the shaking and whimpering. The contact of soft fingertips to skin was enough to make him relax his muscles as long as Levi avoided the sore spots.

 

_“I can keep you warm, as long as you can just try to be brave.”_

 

They stayed like that for what felt like hours until Eren finally moved by himself. He sat up, slowly, and leaned into Levi, hugging him tightly, not wanting to lose that warmth that was keeping him calm and kept his mind off of how horrible he felt with all of these bruises and this blood.

 

_“Yes, I know I’m a wolf,”_

 

Levi repeated the words, “I’m sorry,” over and over as he held the younger. There was nothing else he could say, nothing he could do. He’d caused this. That was the only answer to all his questions. _My fault, my fault, my fault_. The words echoed against his skull.

 

_“And I’ve been known to bite,”_

 

Eren was hurting worse than him, he knew, and his self hate rose more and more as he ran his fingers along the outline of the formed bruises, his touch as light as a ghost’s. They were up and down his arms, on his face, his stomach, and chest. They were all over him.

He sat still while Levi looked him over, trusting him despite what happened. Levi felt sick with disgust. He couldn’t help but connect the moment to his past days when he couldn’t keep a level head. He had almost killed a man once for hurting a stranger. There was no controlling him when he hit that point.

That’s why he got along with the bad side of town so well.

 

_“But the rest of my pack, I have left them behind.”_

 

His boyfriend, well technically still ex-boyfriend, knew of the gang Levi was once apart of. “The Underground.” It was a small clique full of people who tolerated each other. Levi was signed up without prior knowledge of what gangs were at the young age of thirteen. He wasn’t able to get out until it disbanded when he was twenty-three.

 

_“And my teeth may be sharp,”_

 

Of course, he knew he’d never belong anywhere else after he left. He could never forget what he saw. He could never get back to what people called normalcy. He was possessive and got jealous easy, which was troublesome because when he got mad, he knew how to take care of his problems. It was second nature.

 

_“And I’ve been raised to kill,”_

 

With fighting being something he commonly referred to, he found himself in jail more than once. It wasn’t a problem he was a little small, he was still king of the prison yard. The dogs never messed with him, but he still felt lonely. After jail, he tried jobs, but being bossed around gave him an edge that made his fingers twitch and beg for a knife.

He avoided people like the plague. He didn’t date, he didn’t hang, he sometimes didn’t even talk for two weeks or more. That was until he met Eren, a fresh adult who loved to chat and wasn’t the least bit afraid of empty threats. He found himself falling head over heels for the guy.

 

_“But the thought of fresh meat, it is making me ill.”_

 

He’d seen men be killed before in many ways. With guns, with knives, one time a man had use a freaking broken chair leg to stab someone. Levi hadn’t batted a single eye at the time. He still didn’t mind it much. It was what _normal_ was. With this in mind, it was hard to believe how nauseous he felt when he looked at Eren, bloody and bruised.

He didn’t ever want to see him like that again.

 

_“So I’m telling you, that you’ll be safe with,”_

 

Eren took a long while to recover. He didn’t speak more than slight mumbled words until hours later. By then, they were home, at their apartment. Levi didn’t talk either, believing he didn’t have the right. He only treated Eren’s wounds and continued to comfort him with sweet nothings. No real words were exchanged, only small apologies.

 

_“Me.”_

 

When Eren did finally talk, he spoke with a sort of desperation. His first words being, “Thank you.. so much.” His voice was uneven, unprepared for speech. The two of them were sitting on the couch, both staring at the wall ahead of them.

“Thank you?” Levi knew he had spent a long while helping Eren after what he had done, but he still deserved no thanks. He had done this. Fixing it should be thankless. “No, you shouldn’t be-”

The boy interrupted him before he could finish. “You saved me.”

 

_“So rabbit,”_

 

“How?” Levi was confused now. He couldn’t have saved him if he’d done it himself. That would’ve been, well it wouldn’t have been “saving” someone.

Eren’s brow furrowed, concerned. “You don’t remember?”

 

_“Please stop looking the other way.”_

 

The raven haired man shook his head. He still didn’t remember anything.

 

_“It’s cold out there,”_

 

Eren understood that Levi couldn’t remember things after being so angry, he’d seen him in such a state before, and, almost seeming himself again, broke into the story of what had actually happened.

It involved a drunk-off-his-ass Eren, three assholes who didn’t like him, and Prince Charming at the end named Levi, who rode in and beat the shit out of them, sending them running home like cowards. He recounted everything he could remember and left out how terrifying Levi looked when he was in a blind rage.

 

_“So why not stay here,”_

 

Levi was only shocked at first, surprised that what he assumed had happened was so off track, it was almost painful. He let out a breath of relief, feeling the heaviest of weights alleviate from his chest. Suddenly, he felt he wanted to kiss Eren, but he knew kissing a split lip wasn’t smart.

 

_“Under my tail.”_

 

The brunette could feel Levi’s hesitation and realized what he had thought. No wonder he seemed so freaking hurt. “Did you think that you...?” he trailed off, not wanting to say the rest.

The other man nodded.

“Fuck,” Eren breathed, looking down. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were blaming yourself this whole goddamn time.” His eyes focused on the stinging bruises along his tanned skin. If Levi had done this... God, he didn’t even know what to think about that. Would he ever be able to trust him after that. There was short silence before Eren spoke again, “Levi, I don’t think you’d ever hurt me like this.”

“Eren-”

“No,” the boy refused to believe it was possible. “You are- you would never. I know you have anger problems. I do, too. But... you’d never be this mad with me.” He ran a hand over his arm, flinching a bit from the pain. “I know you hit me, but you had a right to. I was being a dick and it was my fault that cup broke. And the coffee burned you, too.”

Levi couldn’t take the words. He still felt bad for that. His second degree healed much faster than Eren’s face did. There was that and still the lingering knots in his stomach from him thinking he hurt his love so badly. “Eren, please, just stop.” He didn’t want pity and he didn’t want Eren to blame himself.

“No.” Golden eyes looked at him, determined and unwilling to be deterred. “Levi, I love you, and I know you have faults. Everyone does. But, you probably saved my life today with them.” The brunette moved on the couch to be right next to Levi, to make him look at him and understand. “I can protect myself most of the time, but today... I could have died. I know you think you’ll hurt me, but it’ll hurt us both even more if you leave. Please... I’m begging you... stay.”

These words were similar to what he had said a week before when Levi was packing up to leave. At the time Eren had been crying because of the break up and was desperate to mend things. Levi was desperate to leave things behind before he hurt the only person he’d ever loved. This time their effect was different. Before, Levi shrugged them off, leaving the house without a word, but today... Today he couldn’t resist.

He leaned in to leave a kiss on Eren’s unmarked cheek, right where there had been a fading bruise the last time they saw each other. This was a symbol for his answer.

Eren was immediately relieved. So relieved, a small smile came to his pitiful, scabbed lips. He would hug him, but without adrenaline, that would only result in pain from his darkened bruises. “So you will.”

Levi nodded. “Of course. I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was a little different than what I had planned but *shrugs* whatevs. I love this song and such so- this happened. I'm sorry? Um, well I hoped you enjoyed it! Thank you for reading :)


End file.
